Goodbye Social Media

    A few months ago I decided to give up my social media for 6 months. I had listened to an interview with Jaron Lanier about his book : Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now. In the interview he spoke of the importance of knowing yourself and the busyness that social media creates. I became very intrigued and started thinking about my connections on social media and if it was a harmful source in my life.
     I have a life philosophy to seek growth and continual change no matter where I'm at;  so I took this challenge. In some ways this belief becomes harmful because I forget to just enjoy my life as it is, and risk never feeling satisfied with what I have in front of me. In being a follower of Jesus this also becomes an act of disobedience as scripture speaks about not worrying, letting God lead you and choosing to live out a life of joy, peace and simplicity. Often in the act of following Jesus you go go go, because there is always more to do and more to serve in. A beautiful ideal to keep serving and keep going, but completely forgetting Christs' persistence on rest and taking a Sabbath. I have seen the effects of my life when I keep going and refuse rest. Not only am I left burnt out , but also can create damage to others by not being at my best self. I have said the wrong things, hurt my family and over committed and under performed. This all could have been changed if I pursued rest and not being distracted.
     So after watching this interview I started looking at my distractions and asking myself which ones create the most harm. Months ago I spent hours collectively on my many social media accounts. Between Facebook, Instagram and Twitter I always had my phone near me. Not for phone calls but just to have it with me. I would check my social status, if I have any comments or likes, scroll through others content on their pages, shop and just browse. Collectively for hours at a time I would stay "busy" but with nothing really of substance. So I simply said goodbye to see who I would be in 6 months without it and how I can grow with my newly acquired time.
    What I have found without social media is peace. Without the distraction and "busyness" I don't concern myself with where I stand or others opinions. This has helped me a lot in not caring what people think (which I often struggle with as an insecurity). I don't wonder as much if I'm doing the right thing or liked because what's in front of me is the most important. I'm not posting photos or letting the world know every bit of my day or what I have to do. Part of me misses this because Instagram helps connect me connect with my distant family but it also has created more phone calls and desire for quality time. I have been writing more and really enjoy it. I write more blogs, letters and growing in reading. I also enjoy my kids better and observe more. Secretly I wonder if they had to fight for my attention while I was distracted with my phone. I want technology to be a helpful tool, but for me have found it to be more harmful than good. Hopefully when I return to social media this will have changed. But for now I am enjoying the simplicity my life holds. I enjoy taking more family photos and not feeling the rush to share them. I like the creativity that has come from having more time, and mostly I just enjoy my own thoughts. Writing more for my own spiritual discipline and writing letters is a joy.
    This December I'll have my social accounts back, but I think I'm going to cancel some of them. Maybe with that permanent space there will be even more opportunities for growth and life.

Adventure Awaits!

   A few months ago my husband and I started talking about the possibility of moving. We got married 6 years ago in the northwest. On our honeymoon, we explored Portland and the neighboring suburbs and I fell in love. I've always had an adoration for the Northwest and being there again just made me want to move as soon as possible. As much as I felt the call for adventure and change it never happened.
  Over the years living in Colorado my husband Phillip and I had two daughters, moved into a larger home and started cultivating community. I learned about being more balanced as an adult and patience as I got to know others. Thought of ways we could make our city better and how I can grow. Phillip changed jobs four times, we fought and cried, grew and stretched, laughed and had fun stories. Year after year we rooted ourselves deeper into our family and friends. And overall I have really enjoyed it.

   Today we've lived in Colorado Springs for the last 13 years, Phillip for 29. Honestly moving wasn't on the forecast for us. We love our neighbors and recently got ready to build a community library in our front yard. I felt the need to stay put and live here the next 30 years. Phillip, on the other hand continued to feel stifled in his career. SoI started praying for new opportunities, maybe a new career or city in Colorado. The very idea of moving brought a lot of excitement but also worry and fear. Where would we go? Where would Phillip work and the girls go to school? We loved the school Audrey was  in and were ready to get involved with her school board. So where to now? And what was there for me to accomplish or grow in? Am I supposed to go to college or serve somewhere ? Lots and lots of prayers and waiting.


    Until two months ago moving was an idea that I prayed and we talked about once the girls were asleep. Now it's a reality. In a few months the four of us are moving to Pennsylvania. Phillip got a great job offer and we think it's the best thing for us. It's a new adventure! My days are spent deep cleaning, pulling weeds and making lists of all the things we need to finish. Our home is going on the market in a few weeks and were on our way. Looking at new houses and reading how to best move across country with kids and two cats. We have been researching neighborhoods to live and the best schools for Audrey to transfer into. (Thankful this move will happen when the girls are young ) It's exciting and new but also pretty scary. I'm going to miss our community here and all of the connections we have made. I love our neighbors, they are the most generous and loving people, and I feel blessed to know them. I'm going to miss our favorite places we visit as a family, and just knowing where I am. I'm especially going to miss these mountains. Where else are my eyes going to go when I'm outside?
      I am excited about the changes though. For different trees and weather. Excited about Saturday mornings spent exploring and searching for new coffee shops. The girls are looking forward to parks and holidays in a new home. Phillip is ready for the change in his work and diversity in our community. Wherever were headed I know we will grow a lot and come closer together.

  Moving has it's drawbacks as well though. I realize more and more how much I want control and to know every little detail. I make plans and back up plans in case those fail. Really I'm saying, " God this is cool and all, but I think you'll fail me somehow and I'm really afraid of all the unknowns." " So I'll make my own plan thank you." I don't really trust God to lead our family or that he has the best intentions for me. In my heart I believe it, but living it out is a different story. So as much as were working to move, I'm working on apologizing to God. Sharing my frustrations and fear with him and asking him to change me from the inside out. Whether we find the best house, school or make the best plan I trust his everlasting arms are under us. And even though I go back and forth with my feelings, I know he's a good father. The best plans I make are still my own and honestly I know his are far better.